Tag Archives: agile jokes
Agile Humor – Knock knock…
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Processes and tools.
Processes and tools who?
See, I told you he was Agile!
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
The user.
The user who?
Yup, we’re at Microsoft.
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Agile Humor – More Words to Live By
Buristic Review – An exercise to gain heuristic insight that will be rejected by a bureaucrat because the research didn’t come from his team.
Merital Raise – A merit-based pay increase for spending more time in the office cranking out code with your colleagues than at home with your spouse.
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Agile Humor – New Certifications
The brilliant Peter Saddington, a/k/a AgileScout, posted a wickedly funny April 1st announcement of a Certified Agile Blogger course. Yep, April Fool! Read it, it’s great fun.
Since I blog about Agile from the point of view of the business stakeholders, it got me thinking about other certifications we could use in the Agile community.
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Agile Humor – The Definition Of Done
The CMO: When the new functionality reduces the bounce rate from 40% to 4%.
The CIO: Done? When’s the release, 11:45? 11:46.
The PR Director: 11:45? I told ClickZ and TechCrunch it went live last Tuesday.
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Posted in Agile Humor
Tagged agile, agile humor, agile jokes, code release, Definition of done, scrum
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A Marketer’s Guide To Agile – You Know You’re An Agile Wannabe When…
1. Your dress code prohibits hoodies – a key requirement of Agile.
2. You consider yourself an Agile centrist – that Manifesto sounds kinda socialist.
3. You keep a copy of the project requirements in your trunk for traction.
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Posted in A Marketer's Guide to Agile Development
Tagged agile, agile jokes, documentation
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A Marketer’s Guide to Agile Development – I’ll Take Agile for $1,000, Alex…
A: 8-track tapes; sleeves on wedding gowns; heavy up-front requirements.
Q: What is nostalgia?
A: Data storage costs; mortgage industry headcount; development project documentation.
Q: What is downsizing?
A: Two face cards; Oliver and Hardy; driver/observer programming team.
Q: What is a pair?
Read more on A Marketer’s Guide to Agile Development – I’ll Take Agile for $1,000, Alex……
Posted in Agile Humor
Tagged agile, agile jokes, cowboy code, developer, requirements
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Agile Humor – Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?
THE BUSINESS ANALYST
I have twelve meetings today, I don’t have time to get into the whole user story. But I can tell you it involves a rooster on a distributed team.
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Tagged agile, agile humor, agile jokes, backlog, business owner, chicken cross the road
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Agile Humor – Words To Live By
Agilewashing – A waterfall shop that throws a scrum or two onto their schedule to seem cool. The Agile equivalent of a veneer, also known as “all hat, no cattle”.
Agillectomy – Removal of a development team’s efficiency gland by the new waterfall-loving CTO.
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Posted in Agile Humor
Tagged agile, agile humor, agile jokes, Agilewashing, Agillectomy, development, Documutation, Heuristic Evaluation, Hubristic Evaluation, kanban, scrum, Scrum of the Earth
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Agile Humor: What Do You Stand For?
Any
Girls
Into
Living
Extreme?
How
Odd.
Tested
Fine.
Iterating…
(Xhausted…)
Kill
All
Negativity;
Board
Advances
Nirvana.
Stand-up
Convergence
Requirement:
Up
Mornings.
Posted in Agile Humor
Tagged agile, agile humor, agile jokes, Hotfix, humor, Joke, kanban, scrum
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Agile Humor: “Overheard” – An Agile Crossword
Posted in Agile Humor
Tagged agile, agile humor, agile jokes, analyst, code complete, cowboy code, crossword, debug, humor, jokes, kanban, lean, manifesto, offshore, puzzle, red bull, release, scope, scrum, sprint, waterfall
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