The CMO: When the new functionality reduces the bounce rate from 40% to 4%.
The CIO: Done? When’s the release, 11:45? 11:46.
The PR Director: 11:45? I told ClickZ and TechCrunch it went live last Tuesday.
The Product Owner: When our new video has been viewed more times than that Evolution of Dance guy.
The Product Manager: It’s not done until the ten missing original requirements make it back into the functionality.
The Developer: It’s done. Remember we dropped ten of the features from this sprint when you told me it couldn’t be coded in Flash? Now they’re enhancements scheduled for Sprint…um…Omega.
The Analytics Manager: Done? It hasn’t started. You won’t have any data until they get the WebTrends tags working in Sprint…um…Omega.
The Scrum Manager: When the last hot fix deploys. What day is it? Never mind, bring me a Red Bull.
The Social Media Manager: Until Zuckerberg changes his mind again.
The Director of Sales: We changed the website? Oh yeah, look at that.
General Counsel: It’s done. I mean really done. The animal rights people are picketing on our lawn over that edgy new “Exploding Koala” logo. Take it down.