Tag Archives: agile
Agile Humor – The Definition Of Done
The CMO: When the new functionality reduces the bounce rate from 40% to 4%.
The CIO: Done? When’s the release, 11:45? 11:46.
The PR Director: 11:45? I told ClickZ and TechCrunch it went live last Tuesday.
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Tagged agile, agile humor, agile jokes, code release, Definition of done, scrum
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THE CIO/CMO RELATIONSHIP – A Marketer’s Guide to Agile Development
Some observations from the Forrester CIO/CMO Conference last week:
A COMBO CIO/CMO – LONELY AT THE TOP, BUT AT LEAST HE HAS EACH OTHER
Ponder the possibilities of one person serving as both CIO and CMO of the company. I have heard of two examples of executives doing this so far, one of whom I met at the conference. Leadership of both Technology and Marketing is a formidable reponsibility to shoulder on one’s own, but it does yield some advantages. For one thing, if you need to bogart some budget dollars, you don’t have to strongarm or cajole your counterpart. You just reach into the other pocket.
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Posted in A Marketer's Guide to Agile Development
Tagged agile, chargeback, CIO, CMO, marketing, sprint, technology
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A Marketer’s Guide to Agile Development – Why Technical Debt is Your Problem Too
Close your eyes.
It’s Wednesday. Mom is coming for dinner Saturday night. More than 3 days away – plenty of time to clean the house. Then, the babysitter was out sick 2 days, then your middle-schooler announced Thursday that she just remembered the paper mâché model of a velociraptor was due to the teacher on Friday. And, oh yeah, it had to have a working mandible. And purple glitter. And the houseplants are listless – gotta make a run to the garden store.
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A Marketer’s Guide to Agile Development – The Ten Commandments for Marketers
Agile is thy methodology – the way, the truth, the absolute shiznet to thy development team. Thou shalt not use any other methodology – at least not here.
Thou shalt not bitch about the lack of up-front requirements – neither shalt thou commit scope creep.
Keep holy the release day. It’s ain’t movin’. It especially ain’t movin’ for thee.
Honor thy development team. Seriously. Some morning Dunkins, a toy, a damn pizza wouldst not kill thee.
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Tagged agile, development, marketer, marketing, scope creep, scrum, sprint
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A Marketer’s Guide to Agile Development – Testing…Testing…
I don’t know if this is a universal trait – and I’m not entirely sure why – but my experience with Agile dev professionals is that there is a tendency to resist testing. I’m not talking about standard software Quality Assurance (incredibly, that’s not always a given either). I’m talking about A/B or multivariate testing, and true UX testing. These are things I have actually heard in my career as a marketing professional from dev groups.
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Tagged A/B testing, agile, analytics, Multivariate testing, testing, UX
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Agile Humor – Top Ten Rejected Agile Taglines
1. Accelerate Success But Let’s Not Get Crazy About It
2. Aggression In Its Most Passive Form
3. Delivering Your Lame-Ass Ideas Faster Every Day
4. We’re Not Arrogant – We’re Winning
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Agile Humor – Yo Momma’s So Agile…
Yo momma’s so Agile she took a two-day vacation and came back a Certified Momma.
Yo momma’s so Agile she makes you eat breakfast in fifteen minutes, standing up.
Yo momma’s so Agile she’ll only commit to PTA four weeks at a time.
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A Marketer’s Guide to Agile Development – Cool New Jobs in 2011
Really enjoyed the great Derek Huether’s post about zombie meetings on his blog The Critical Path. And it got me thinking…perhaps our meeting-crazed corporate culture could actually spur some new job growth?
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Posted in A Marketer's Guide to Agile Development
Tagged agile, jokes, laptop walker, marketer, marketing, meeting, meeting bouncer, minutes, scrum, stealth scribe, waterfall
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A Marketer’s Guide To Agile – You Know You’re An Agile Wannabe When…
1. Your dress code prohibits hoodies – a key requirement of Agile.
2. You consider yourself an Agile centrist – that Manifesto sounds kinda socialist.
3. You keep a copy of the project requirements in your trunk for traction.
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Tagged agile, agile jokes, documentation
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A Marketer’s Guide to Agile Development – I’ll Take Agile for $1,000, Alex…
A: 8-track tapes; sleeves on wedding gowns; heavy up-front requirements.
Q: What is nostalgia?
A: Data storage costs; mortgage industry headcount; development project documentation.
Q: What is downsizing?
A: Two face cards; Oliver and Hardy; driver/observer programming team.
Q: What is a pair?
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Tagged agile, agile jokes, cowboy code, developer, requirements
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