Tag Archives: agile
Processes and tools.
Processes and tools who?
See, I told you he was Agile!
The user who?
Yup, we’re at Microsoft.
Marketers are becoming as insecure about big data as they already are about mobile. It’s like the middle school dating scene – you think everybody else is doing it but you.
As I semi-reclined in the dentist’s chair this morning, my dentist told the hygienist a story. Seems his businessman brother-in-law suspected his employees were taking advantage of him by taking entire afternoons off when they had dentist appointments. Since the man had never needed a filling himself, he asked “How long do fillings typically take – all afternoon?” My dentist replied that it’s usually closer to 30 to 90 minutes to fill a tooth, which he said confirmed his brother-in-law’s suspicions that his employees were sandbagging.
1. They’re not comfortable with change.
2. They don’t feel their voices are being heard over those of the development team.
3. They, or someone they know, didn’t get what they wanted in an agile development project.
DONALD TRUMP – Not agile. Look at him. His hair doesn’t meet anyone’s definition of done.
LADY GAGA – Agile. She wore a friggin’ meat dress, for chrissakes. Say what you want, the girl can iterate.
The brilliant Peter Saddington, a/k/a AgileScout, posted a wickedly funny April 1st announcement of a Certified Agile Blogger course. Yep, April Fool! Read it, it’s great fun.
Since I blog about Agile from the point of view of the business stakeholders, it got me thinking about other certifications we could use in the Agile community.
The Dowager Countess regards the telephone as an instrument of torture, too.
Even if all hell’s breaking loose, the dinner release deploys promptly at eight.
The gown Lady Sybil puts on before coming down to breakfast is only the first iteration.
Some Agile Marketing projects will wither and die. Oh, they get finished – they just won’t be used. Why?
A SOLO RUN DOWN THE FIELD
Sometimes a developer or team unilaterally decides Marketing’s had enough turns, it’s their turn – they’ll build their own vision. Seriously, I’ve seen it happen. Maybe it really is a great idea and Marketing just won’t green-light it. Maybe the two teams aren’t getting along. Whatever. The point is that deliberately skipping collaboration can allow departmental myopia to take over. It works out occasionally, if there’s a serious UX wonk behind the keyboard. But more often, a tech-only result favors the technical accomplishment – the user CAN complete their task – but the process is so annoying that users want to kick holes in their monitors doing it. And if the style and nav are to the specs of someone’s vision of cool, unmoored from the brand’s, users can bail thinking they’re on the wrong site.
Your Project Manager is probably very polite. Maybe too polite…
1. Zombies don’t iterate well.
2. A zombie can declare a project dead and move on.
3. Scrums aren’t productive because the answer to every question is the same. “Brains.”
4. Pair programming…well, trust me, it just doesn’t work out.