Tag Archives: agile humor

Agile Humor – And Even More Agile Drinks

Tweet “Lean In” Mule Vodka, ginger beer, and lime juice, made between 11:15 pm and 6:30 am because that’s the only time you’re not at work. Unrealistic Mojito Macerate 6 mint leaves in a simple syrup of tubinado sugar and … Continue reading

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Agile Humor – Still More Definitions

Tweet Testing Phase – Period that elapses from a cheery “Sure we can make that change” to a sign on the back of your chair that says “ADD IT TO PHASE 2″. Aggressive Deliverable – You’ll get there with some … Continue reading

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New Agile Jobs

Tweet Code-Alones – Programmers who lack the people skills to be developers. None-Of-Your-Business Analysts – Requirements gatherers for skunkworks projects. Projectile Managers – Representatives of death march projects who must appear before angry stakeholders in the Marketing Conference Room. Time … Continue reading

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Agile Humor – More Words to Live By

Tweet Buristic Review – An exercise to gain heuristic insight that will be rejected by a bureaucrat because the research didn’t come from his team. Merital Raise – A merit-based pay increase for spending more time in the office cranking … Continue reading

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Agile Humor – New Certifications

Tweet The brilliant Peter Saddington, a/k/a AgileScout, posted a wickedly funny April 1st announcement of a Certified Agile Blogger course. Yep, April Fool! Read it, it’s great fun. Since I blog about Agile from the point of view of the … Continue reading

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Agile Humor – The Definition Of Done

Tweet The CMO: When the new functionality reduces the bounce rate from 40% to 4%. The CIO: Done? When’s the release, 11:45? 11:46. The PR Director: 11:45? I told ClickZ and TechCrunch it went live last Tuesday. The Product Owner: … Continue reading

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Agile Humor – Top Ten Rejected Agile Taglines

Tweet 1. Accelerate Success But Let’s Not Get Crazy About It 2. Aggression In Its Most Passive Form 3. Delivering Your Lame-Ass Ideas Faster Every Day 4. We’re Not Arrogant – We’re Winning 5. We Put The “Um” In Scrum … Continue reading

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Agile Humor – Yo Momma’s So Agile…

Tweet Yo momma’s so Agile she took a two-day vacation and came back a Certified Momma. Yo momma’s so Agile she makes you eat breakfast in fifteen minutes, standing up. Yo momma’s so Agile she’ll only commit to PTA four … Continue reading

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Agile Humor – Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?

Tweet THE BUSINESS ANALYST I have twelve meetings today, I don’t have time to get into the whole user story. But I can tell you it involves a rooster on a distributed team. SOCIAL MEDIA MANAGER So the chicken can … Continue reading

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Agile Humor – Words To Live By

Tweet Agilewashing – A waterfall shop that throws a scrum or two onto their schedule to seem cool. The Agile equivalent of a veneer, also known as “all hat, no cattle”. Agillectomy – Removal of a development team’s efficiency gland … Continue reading

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