What they say: “Help me understand this requirement.”
What they mean: “Drop this requirement. I’m launching a Kickstarter campaign to fund the bribe I’ll offer you to drop this requirement.”

What they say: “Let me confer with the team on the feasibility of that request.”
What they mean: “Maybe if we had a time machine… LOL. No seriously, you’re delusional.”

What they say: “By close of business.”
What they mean: “By the time our office closes. Our Honolulu office.”

What they say: “Late in the week.”
What they mean: “Friday at 4:49 pm.”

What they say: “Sometime next week.”
What they mean: “Next Friday at 4:49 pm.”